Thursday, 11 June 2020
Do you know what it’s like ?
To be 30kg and then pregnant and pushing 70kg?
To look down at your body, to know it’s for the heat: but your mind is a mess. You put in a face, and sometime. You believe it. You know it’s good for the baby. You are willing to sacrifice your body and anything for a healthy baby. Anything.
It doesn’t mean that it’s not the most difficult thing you’ve ever done.
To look down and see roaring stretch marks all over places you never knew could. To have your body like out in so many places it seems unnatural. To look in the mirror and to see someone you don’t recognise.
Sure it’s all good.
But those moments are there.
When you throw clothes across the room. You throw your hairbrush, all your makeup, because nothing can change who you are and what you see.
You seek so much comfort because you are so insecure. So insecure that no one can keep up with it. You need the push. Even though you’re believing they are lying.
If you pretend long enough you might believe it yourself .
A happy ending? What is that. The works is so full of emotions I’m not sure happiness exists anymore.
The whole world has gone mad! It’s completely overwhelming. Frightening and terrifying at the same time. This is not making history, this is destroying everything we have ever built. Soon there will be nothing left.
There’s nothing more to give. Nothing anyone can say. No right move can be made from any leader. No individual.
This is a disaster.
Soon the borders will open, and the virus will return as the cases already spike. And then what?
You can only please yourself. The world is not your oyster.
There is so much to say on this subject. But I’ve already learnt extremely quickly not to say a word. Not to look anyone in the eye. Not to walk too fast. And not to look back.
Wearing a mask might protect you from illness in the air, but what will save you from the destruction that flows through your veins?