Sunday, 17 March 2019

Here we are again

Everyday it’s something new, some new challenge on top of the war I already fight. I take more tablets than I do food. What is all this for? What is the meaning? Why do dead people keep giving me messages?? These nightmares they never end!! When will escape this hell! What do I have other than pain and anguish? People think I’m fine! I’m happy! I’m great! When I’m fucking dying. Every part of me throbs, bloats and bruises. My mind is a death trap. Can I be completely honest without being judged? No I can’t it’s that simple. Judge a book by its cover and don’t ask questions because really no one cares. Oh you just won’t help yourself Sarah, you don’t want to get better. You’re fucking right that’s why it’s called chronically suicidal you dumb bitch. Why do I even bother . 

I don’t know where any of this has suddenly come from. 

Night is just awful for me. I can barely open my eyes. 

Uni is killing me. Life is killing me . I can’t trust I can’t believe. I can’t anything. I just want to function

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