Sunday, 28 October 2018


I’m fucked, actually fucked. I can’t stop crying I’m never getting out of this place because I’m so fucked in the head. I hate this. I hate me. I hate who I’ve become no one needs me. I’m so alone and I’m going to be alone my whole life and when my cat dies what then? I just want a fairy tale ending but it’s never going to happen and I have to face the facts. Fact is I’m fucked. I’m so low. And I have to climb back out this hole and I don’t know if I can or if I even want to. What do I want? Because I know I can’t have it. How do I express all this from my head? I just can’t get it out. I thought I had found someone who gets me and understands me and I didn’t feel so alone but soon enough he will be gone and I will be alone again too. This is pointless. I’m going back to being a quiet little mouse and avoiding people and living in my shell. Fuck this fuck that shut the front door I’m out 

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