Saturday, 22 September 2018

Place to vent

I made a new insta account to vent on. I’m happy about it it’s what I need. I’m such a fucking mess. I overdose every night and cut regularly. But cutting my ribs is not as satisfying as ribs. The drugs are working I’m fading away. It’s the only way to avoid cutting. So thankful for my loving cat. I’m so numb like I feel nothing. I don’t attach to anything only my cat. I just don’t care. 
What comes after death? Silence or happiness? I just want to know. Is it painful? Do we wander the earth? Suicide sends me to hell. I’m so scared but so suicidal. My blood pressures in the 80s from purging and restricting not that it matters. I’m fat as a cos anyway. I’m a hermit I’m no one. 

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