What is going on!

This is hell. It’s been what three days and I know this is hell and it’s all wrong wrong wrong wrong. No one wants this life of dry skin and constipation and feeling like death all the time, having no energy being fed bycan NG tube omg just fucking eat something. 

I had to google what this feeling was in the back of my throat and I realised it’s hunger! How messed up is that. I’m literally in tears because this is so humiliating and pathetic. I just need to eat but this mindset is killing me. I feel like going for a run now. I’m cold and coughing but I’m thinking of going for another run? Then maybe I can sleep. Yes good idea. Off I go now