I can’t feel

I’m sorry to report I’ve made some more stupid decisions and don’t know what’s going to happen. Not one person understands what’s going on. I can’t confide in anyone properly. I’m dying inside and I can’t even cry because I can’t feel a fucking thing.i can’t get help because no one can help me. I can’t ring a hot line and waste their time I’m just dangling with dangerous behaviours. Soon I will be unconscious and soon I will be happy. I am safe. I have my cat. I have work tomorrow but how. How can I conform to society like this. Fake this. God I need help but I won’t accept it. It’s just time