Sunday, 24 June 2018


Alright alright I call bullshit on love. Is there such a thing or is it just made up? Like I understand the unconditional love from a parent but not all parents like their children but do they love them? and can you have someone else love you unconditionally even though they can never truely know or understand you? Everything is out of your control. Though they say you can’t control who you love. Well I call that bullshit too I think you can admire someone and be drawn to them but throwing the word love around isn’t correct. And I’m guilty I thought I loved when actually I liked. We fall in and out but if we were really unconditional love wouldn’t it stay unconditional? You see my scepticism. Personally I don’t believe in love. I believe it was labelled as a set of off emotions how we react to people we accept. Love thy neighbour as god loves us. Well god shows us his love by sending his only son to die for us. But can we return that love? Are we obliged to? Why do we have wars? Why should people sacrifice loved ones. Why do our loved ones die and we keep loving and longing for them? How is it possible to love someone you never met? Again with the unconditional. I don’t even know if I believe in emotions because really we should be able to contain ourselves and control but what if we lose control and just resonate? Is that thinking too hard? No wonder I’ve been getting headaches lately fml . But I think we are all chasing after something that doesn’t exist. And in that case what about soul mates? Is there such a thing? Of course not as we can “love” more then one person before or after time. Can my cat be my soul mate? What are animals to us? Can animals love or do they just show affection to be fed. Positive feedback. Positive reassurance I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m trying to discuss here I’m just so confused and depressed that I’m alone and probably always going to be because I don’t leave my box. I don’t venture and I don’t socialise. But then shouldn’t I trust the right people will find me no? You need to get out and make it happen. Which I don’t do I will Judy have to accept I won’t get married because that is rare and babies well they just legalised abortions so who the fuck knows anymore. I actually don’t know what I believe anymore and that upsets me. I hate not having justification and meaning. Ffs 

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