Tuesday, 19 June 2018

D-day

So Friday is two days away. Friday is my exam as to whether I pass or fail my anatomy and physiology topic at uni and also see a new psychologist!! I know, I haven’t talked to anyone in such a long time because I don’t believe they can handle my issues so my team found someone with experience so we must start this bloody process all over again. I’m very ambivalent about this. Like I will know straight away if she will be able to help me and not bullshit me about life etc. hopefully she’s not an imbisal. I have to travel about 40 mins to see her but that’s not too bad if she can help me in some way. But this exam omg talk about stress. Im trying to stay positive and just take my oxazepam. Oh speaking of drugs I’ve got to that damn point of olanzapine where I have too much in my system and my jaw shakes. It’s so noticeable and all my muscles twitch it’s terrible. And then my breasts leak milk which is just lovely... damn you prolactin! 
Doctors appointment on Thursday. See how we go also getting microblafing on eyebrows Thursday! Super excited about that. Seriously though I cannot see my life past Friday. I’ve been dreading this day for so long and now it’s almost here my anxiety will crush me. My mum is driving me so I don’t crash on the way there or back. What a mess. Is there life after this??? I just need to get through. Study study study! Bring it on! 

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