Tuesday, 15 May 2018
Tainted by oxazepam
2nd day in a row of uni and I’m dead. The whole drive there I was considering crashing into a truck, but some olanzapine drove me in the right direction though made me almost fall asleep in class. I love what I’m doing and I want to succeed but I’m so exhausted. Like I just need to sleep for a month and I’ll be right. I’ve been in bed since 6:30 and then tomorrow have my first placement which I was considering abusing laxatives so I wouldn’t have to go but I chose not to. I will go then it’s one day done. But how am I going to cope come September for ten days??? When I can’t even cope 2 days. How long can I keep kidding myself? I’m just so tired. I sleep, I study and I work. That’s my life. And if I don’t do it now I never will. I was thinking on the way home with a McCafé coffee. A tall vanilla soy latte my fave. I was thinking about what my psych has told me about my commitment to living. This is what I’m doing.
Now I’m thinking I should drop a nightshift following night cos I’m exhausted. Maybe I should ring my Mum and discuss. That’s what I’ll do right now. Cheerio