Just when you think you’re doing okay and you let your guard down, oh miss Ana pops up and crushes your heart. The fear, the secrets, the behaviours! WHY!!?? I don’t want to be like this. One minute I can eat because I need fuel the next no you’ve had enough for the day x calories no more. But I think I’m hungry? No don’t be stupid you must starve. And so I suffice with a 60 calorie vanilla coffee and I know tomorrow I will be back to black coffee with sweetener. Farkkkk do I want to stop? Because apart of me doesn’t want this. Ana is in my head. Just a little more weight then you’ll be happy. LIES LIES LIES! I know this so why can’t I accept it? Arghhh the internal battle! Please give me strength to evade these thoughts and eat for wellness. #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #edwarrior #fightnorflight #boobsoverbones #foodforfuel #nourishnotpunish #nourishtoflourish #selfharm #suicide #oxazepam #olanzapine #lithiumrecovery
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