Tuesday, 1 May 2018

Going under

I’m just exhausted. I don’t know how much longer I can keep playing this game. I sleep 24/7 like I’m dizzy when I’m awake I can’t think. I’m struggling. I have so much to do with uni and I just keep doing the bare minimum. I thought this was what I wanted so why can’t I apply myself more? I expect so much of myself and I just can’t do it. I’m so tired. Tired of trying tired of worrying about my weight. I just want to sleep forever when I’m back in the stage where my dreams are more eventful than my life. I don’t know if I can’t keep nursing because I don’t know if I can keep living. I’m so overwhelmed with expectations and I can’t do this . I really should be in hospital but I can’t give up I have to keep going but I’m so so tired. I don’t wanna watchvtv I cant think to read I just need sleep. What is this hole I’m going in ? You can throw me a rope but I can’t hold on. I’m slipping and I can’t be saved. I’m going under again and I’m so afraid. 

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