Monday, 25 April 2016
Here we go go go again.
I haven't told anyone how I'm feeling. I don't want mum to worry and dad to hate me even more. I'm such a disappointment of a child. I'm nothing to be proud of. If I say how I feel I deeply upset everyone so I can't say a word. These feelings inside are just so depressing and I have to work 6 days in a row which is killing me. I can barely handle it. I feel like such a failure but I can't say I'm suicidal cos I don't want to die. I repeat I DONT WANT TO DIE. But I am scared of death I just have so many thoughts about death it's getting in the way of my thinking and therefore I can't think straight. I have no one to talk to so I talk to God and to myself and this blog. My ED is another whole problem id rather not discuss because it's more of a lost cause.