Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Sudden vent

I really need to vent but have no one to vent to so here I go. I will hold back numbers and details. 
So I'm at my lowest ever and I don't know how I got here but then I'm told I'm looking really good so does that mean I'm fat or I'm a healthy weight? I don't know what to believe let alone think. I'm so stressed and my body is starting to follow. My head feels funny and I'm constantly exhausted. I had a huge breakthrough with my psychiatrist today about all my problems going back to when I was 13 and my nana died. Why does everything all have to go down hill from there like that was just the breakdown of my life. What happened to that little girl that was fun and carefree? I can't even remember her. Now she's a self conscious nervous slug. 
I'm so nervous I'm going to end up in hospital if I keep this up but I really can't go back there id rather die. I can't think of anything worse being there. I would be so devastated. I can't write much more I'm too stressed. Please God don't let this be the beginning of the end . 

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