Only one escape

This is usually where I should ring lifeline but I'm trying to talk things through myself. I feel so low. I will never be skinny enough I will never be anything. I'm so lonely and yet such a heavy burden. Burden to my parents to my work, to the family and to the town. What am I suppose to live for? What is my aim? I want a family and kids but I can't see that happening. I'm so exhausted all I do is sleep. I wish I was happy, fun to be around but I'm not anymore and haven't been for a long time. What am I meant to do? I'm so lost and I only see one escape. I will never be thin enough so what do I do? I don't know how to be happy how to have feelings and be normal. I have work tomorrow but how can I pretend day after day to be happy and interested in life. Now I just feel like I'm going around in circles