Again.

Feeling terrible so I will keep this short. Had my psych appt and she's given up asking me about coming into hospital which makes me think I must be huge. All this eating and no exercise is killing me. Tomorrow will be better. I was at least honest with my psych about the purges and not following the meal plan and the restricting so at least I'm not a liar. I confessed to her I can't gain weight cos if I leave and recover my eating disorder I'm stuck in the suicidal and depressed me. So either way I'm doomed. I don't know what to do. Do I ever know what to do? Tomorrow will be better. I weighed myself and I didn't like the numbers so what did I do? Abused laxatives. Fuck. Tomorrow is going to suck. I feel sick already. I'm so ashamed of myself there's nothing more to say