Tuesday, 19 January 2016

Anorexia.

Anorexia has destroyed my life. I can barely breathe. I don't know what to say. I'm still being tube fed even though I'm fat and of a healthy weight. I'm still detained and can't toilet myself alone. This is just hell . I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. My pillow is wet from crying. Tomorrow I will write a letter to anorexia expressing how I feel . Right now all I can do is cry. I'm heartbroken as per the changes in my body. Anorexia is all about control so now being controlled by nurses, doctors, dietitians, ENT, psych teams, medical teams and more I have nothing left but a fat stomach, pudgy arms and thunder thighs. It's awful to look in the mirror and be repulsed by what you see. And to have no choice. I just want to go home so I keep eating and doing what they say but they won't let me leave and keep detaining me. I'm so confused and upset I don't know what to do. All I can do is cry  even then I can't control that

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