I feel so plain. My mind is so blank I can't carry conversations anymore because no one is on inside. The light is out. Ding dong no ones home. Lord save me. Then the eating dissorder clinic and my counsellor rang me today. Monumentous day really. I refused a bed and I said I'm fine. Am I fine? I can't think. I'm not recovering cos I refuse to believe I'm ill. I haven't finished yet.
A daytime nightmare of survival. Mental Health Advocate A decrepit narrative of a young girls survival through chronic and mental illnesses. Starring Anorexia Nervosa & depression, deep emotional thoughts being my release of what plaques me to those you are not alone. And now we face pregnancy. Insta@chronic_survival_
Tuesday, 29 September 2015
Cracked 36.
Today I cracked 36.4kg. Don't know how to feel about it. Makes my BMI 14.20 . Doesn't feel good enough. I'm still fat. But I'm so tired. It hurts to walk and I freak over everything I eat. Just had to confess somewhere to get it out my head. Freaking out I have to have lunch tomorrow at McDonalds.
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