Sunday, 20 September 2015

Checkpoint.

So here I am. Am I here? 
I've reached the point I'm too exhausted to walk. And when I all I can't walk as far or for as long. I don't know if it's the heat or my body telling me to stop. Either way I feel like I'm falling. Im cold almost all the time and I'm dizzy when I stand. As far as I know I haven't lost weight and I've had so many IVs in the last week my bloods should be fine. I have a blood form so maybe I'll do that tomorrow. 
I haven't walked (usual 1 hour walk) in just under a week. I'd like to get back into it but I have work and now a blood test tomorrow so it's probably not in my best interest to do so. And if I force myself to I know that's definetly the anorexia. I'm not sure from writing this what I hope to achieve or even become aware of but I feel like a failure. I haven't pushed far enough. 
I take refuge in that tomorrow is a new day. A new beginning. And maybe a weight in even though the results good or bad will alter my day. Lord have mercy and help me through this. Whatever this is . Peace out xx 

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