Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Meine Kampf/ Meine Genesung

Good friend ! Old chap! We meet at last in this dark and whisoy place. I'm afraid it's only on bad terms we have ever met and it is only bad terms we shall ever meet. So he we are. The date is something around a Tuesday towards the beginning of the year of 2015. I have spent the last 3 days unconscious in hospital following an overdose. With a prior admission to another hospital for a night the week before that. You would think I almost like being here. I conquer. I work in one and then be a patient in one and the change is not much. It's louder at night and busier in the day but the one thing that hasn't changed, and that's the food. Haha insert joke line here..

I won't say too much my friends as we will be meeting regularly i imagine for the next few weeks. Oh the excitement of it all! I can hardly jump for excitement. Pity I'm in bed. 
Well I have destroyed one friendship today. Put my heart through her chest and just ripped it out really. My best friend too. We were going to a music festival together as planned for for months!!! As we previously attended one for the same band and now to see the front man Gerard way of my chemical romance . I hate myself enough as it is to let alone not be able to attend what would be an outstanding performance. (Even though his new solo album isn't all that a bag a chips and a big chip to boot) did I say that? No of course not. I will send him an email though. Maybe I will get a tattoo instead to commemorate. 
Anyway I'm drifting off topic here. So I can't go and now the hotel booking is cancelled she wanted her money back straight away which I obligingly paid ASAP. I will miss her. But where I left from when I worked with her she has replaced me with another girl the same girl who will probably go with her so she is probably not that upset by me maybe even relieved. But I will email Gerard way and tell him of my sorrows. 
Stupid hospital. Stupid overdosing. Stupid self harming. I hate you Facebook. Stupid anorexia nervosa go eat a cow. Stupid depressions. 
Stupid dumm arschloch dummkopf meine. 

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