Saturday, 8 March 2014

Who can save me now?

Forgive my grammatical errors kitty. Here I am, this demon climbing to weep from my wrist. I have done little to fight it because it is what I want, why can't I have what I want? Everything I want is judged as bad or unwanted by others, how is this fair? What I want is personal. 21 and what I want is in my hands. If I hold a knife to my own skin, it is my choice alone. I do not ask for help. I am forever told, call me, I don't care what time, call me or text me I want to help, what if I don't want to be helped? What if I'm too late to be helped?
I'm so lost I can't remember a time other than this. They think I'm doing well when I'm doing worse. 
I hide in day dreams and escape through nightmares . Who can save me now? I pray for God. My Lord Jesus I believe has given me this for a reason. 

He has tried to teach me blogging is a bad idea and yet I continue because it is like a message to him but open for the world. 
Just one little incision. One little mark. Hidden with a smile and a laugh. It will be fine, I will hide through another day. 

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