Saturday, 28 September 2013

Bury me in satin.

In the emotional management program for borderline personality dissorder broken into the four cat aviaries , emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance and emotional management (core mindfulness).
From learning these skills I have been taught to name emotions. Right now I'm having a tough time naming this emotion and trying to anchor down using mindfulness as my mind keeps being blown away with the wind. 
It's like I'm zoned out. I can watch tv but I'm not really there. I can eat but I'm doing everything mindlessly. So trying to be mindful but it only seems to depress me more. 
Here is where I could/would cut myself or overdose but I know the consequence of those behaviors and it's hardly worth participating in. So I'm going to continue eating my fish oil Lollies because thy are the closest form of food without getting out of bed and feel the breeze of my fan on my face and go to sleep. Tomorrow in 18 minutes. Will b another day, another week beginning, another chance, a fresh start ith hopefully new revelations to come. 

Guten nacht kinder xx 

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