Monday, 8 July 2013
It's funny the way depression affects us all differently. For me, I lost music. Something I loved became something I was afraid of. Thanks to that fear I gave it all up. My "tickling the ivory" as my Gramps called it came to a unique halt. I say unique as every key I played caused pain until I just couldn't do it anymore.
This last few weeks I have worked in a High care facility. Seen people once quick and able become incontinent and lose their mind. Their keen thoughts, good intentions, lives lost in time. Some of them have no family for hours away, many of which do not even bother to call. dribbling and confused they lay in their rooms from hours to days to years until death finally sets them free; from who they were who they still are but what they will never feel again. There is no reason to death unless their is a Heaven; I chose to believe in Heaven which would make all that worth it. To be united with the lost, forgiven for the unforgivable and remembered for what your worth.
Labour that. Liberal this. These old people can't even enjoy their mundane breakfast in the morning. Maybe a luke warm cuppa ? (because hot on someone who was a bit shaky would burn themselves) Not to mention constant hospital food and the tainted taste of plastic throughout EVERYTHING. Noticing everyone has visitors but you. Not recognising your family, your own children. Do you have children? Who are you? What are those pictures above you? Until you get so upset over everything you see that it all gets taken away and you are left with not a bare but what feels naked room. At least you are warm? You rest in crisp sheets. With no measure of time eventually it will all fade away.